Living on JET with Your Partner

I decided to write up a short article on what life is like in Japan on the JET Programme when you've arrived with your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/significant other/buddy (?)/wife/husband/etc., as opposed to living here looking out for number one.  This is aimed towards future JETs in my prefecture, but bear with me while I trick myself into writing it as a blog post. :D

I initially applied to JET together with my partner.  We decided that if one of us didn't make it, we wouldn't go.  Only I got in.  We went anyway.

And so we began our post-college lives together living in a foreign country.  Upon arrival, our BOE was more than willing to accommodate both her and I.  They even suggested looking for other housing if the one provided wasn't enough, and though we considered the option we soon adjusted to my predecessor's two-story apartment and double bed.  My partner's city hall registration, cell phone, bank account, etc. went as smoothly as it had with me, though these were things we were required to do on our own.

The hardest thing to find for her was work.  Before arriving in Japan, we were told to keep an eye out for eikaiwa (English conversation schools), ALT positions, private firms, juku (cram schools), and pre-schools.  I was also quick to mention to my schools and the BOE that she was looking.  Unfortunately, helpful information can come very slowly if you're going to wait on these sources.  She eventually settled with a weekly eikaiwa less than an hour away, to work for one hour a week.  The pay and time isn't great, but it gives her something to do and she loves working with her students.  Eventually she also started doing private lessons here and there and it's now up to four sessions a week.  At this point we stopped actively looking for work, though she remains very busy maintaining all of the tasks around the house and keeping us both happy, including making delicious meals, organizing social gatherings, and planning for our upcoming wedding ceremony.  The extra time also awards her the opportunity for more creative pursuits such as teaching herself Japanese cooking, gardening, and sewing.

Suffice to say most of the income comes from my working as an ALT.  I keep monthly budgets for five categories (gas, groceries, eating out, fun, and other living expenditures), and input purchases into an excel file weekly.  I never imagined I would go that far, but after setting it up it only takes me 10-15 minutes a week to maintain.  Thanks to this budgeting, we're able to pay the bills, have fun, and go on (sometimes bordering excessive) trips, in addition to saving quite a bit of money.  It's doable, you just have to stay on top of it.

Alas, having lots of free time and little knowledge of (or perhaps confidence in) the local language can be a bad combination.  This doubles when the other person in the relationship can speak the language, leading your partner to rely on you for many everyday things.  One point I've learned in hindsight is that it's important to encourage your partner's independence, such as by asking them to run quick errands by themselves.  The more your partner interacts with his or her environment, the quicker and smoother they can adjust.  Another result of this excess free time is that when I come home from work and want to relax, my partner has been relaxing all day waiting for me to come home and is ready to go out.  In this case, I'd suggest making plans in advance, perhaps weekly trips on certain days or simply deciding you'll go out to dinner and pachinko the next day.  This way the working JET knows to save a little time and energy.

Luckily, my partner did make some great friends during her stay.  Some are JETs in the area with a work schedule similar to mine, but others are Japanese that she met in the community.  Her Japanese has actually increased to the point where  she can understand a lot of what's being said without me needing to translate!  Your best bet is to make friends with people in your town and find out who speaks English.  One of my partner's best friends turned out to be the local English juku teacher.

Negative experiences are bound to happen, but try to keep an open mind about whether that's a feature of living in Japan or just normal marriage life.  We also had some of the most amazing experiences of our lives, and despite the struggles my partner expressed interest in staying even longer.  She and I will really miss Japan.